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Learn To Lose Weight, Stop Smoking? There Is A Secret Formula That Guarantees Success |
For many people, the highway to personal transformation and self-improvement is a long and winding road filled with intricate barriers. Drug companies in particular have capitalized on and created massive fortunes because of the elusive search for the "Magic Pill" that will make all of your dreams come true. As it turns out, there is a secret formula for success, and it begins in the subconscious mind. One of the laws of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is that "there is a positive intention behind all behaviors." And based on that law, when it comes to eliminating negative behaviors, there is an equation that we must always keep in mind. I'll let you in on the secret in a minute. But I have a riddle for you to solve first. Riddle: A holy man made his child drink lye, which burned out the child's voice box. What was the positive intention behind his action? If you are like most of the clients who have visited my office since 1978, you'll say something like: "There isn't any positive intent behind that behavior." But you would be totally wrong. To answer this riddle, first you must detach the behavior from the positive intent of the behavior. The preacher's child was cursing. And the minister believes that if his child curses, his soul will be condemned to Hell. So the answer is that the minister was burning out his son's voice box so that he couldn't curse. By doing so, he was saving his son's soul from being condemned to suffer in Hell. The secret formula for personal change works as follows: We must value the positive intent behind every behavior. If we have an impulse to apply a behavior that we don't like, we can quickly get rid of the urge to use that behavior. What we must do is to find another behavior to substitute in its place. To be successful, the new conduct must be as accessible and efficient at accomplishing the same outcome, but be more consciously tolerable to you. This is called a REFRAME. When clients come into my office, the first thing I do is to take a methodical case history. In this instance, let's imagine that they come to me and ask me to help them suppress their appetite. Experience tells us that the two main reasons that anyone eats excessively are: (1) to reduce stress; (2) because eating can be a behavior triggered by other behaviors that it has been associated with (a conditioned response). For instance, if a person eats while they are talk on the phone, they will develop a conditioned response, and thereafter, every time they talk on the phone they will get a craving for food. However, the above answer only takes into consideration the possible positive intention behind the behavior of eating. What if they also have another behavior that is involved in the equation? For instance: What if being tubby is also a behavior for this person? I can hear your mind grinding right now as you think, "Being chubby isn't a behavior, what are you talking about?" Sorry but you could be completely incorrect. Here is a simple classic textbook example that will demonstrate the fact that being chubby can be a behavior. It can be a behavior because it can supply secondary gains. Example: A woman is deeply in love. Her boyfriend breaks up with her, and breaks her heart. Her unconscious wants to shield her emotionally and stop her from having her heart broken again. So it motivates her to get chubby to keep her out of relationships. Because if she isn't in a relationship she cannot get her heart broken again. Everyone is totally different. And sometimes there are elements at work that cause compulsive behaviors. These are elements that are different for each person. Here is another case in point: A woman comes to my office complaining of an uncontrollable urge to eat too much at mealtime. During my case history, upon questioning, the woman tells me about how she has never been able to satisfy her dad. During an age regression, we learned that one of her earliest memories was of having dinner with her family. And her father was insisting in an angry voice that she eat what was left on her plate, even though she was bursting. So she cleaned her plate out of fear, and her father commended her for finishing all of the food. It was one of the only times in her life that she could recall her father telling her that she had made him happy. Shoot forward to the present. Dad has been dead for many years, but the subconscious program he programmed is still operational. She still has a compulsion to eat all of the food on her plate, even if she is feeling stuffed, because by cleaning the plate, in her subconscious she is getting dad's approval, and eliminating her own fear! So if you are having a problem making personal changes, keep in mind that there is a positive intention behind all behaviors. And the secret formula for success is to use a different behavior that will realize the same secondary gain, but in a way that is more consciously suitable to you, as an individual. The most efficient way to get your unconscious to accept the responsibility for making this kind of alteration for you is through an NLP Six-Step Reframe.
Alan B. Densky, CH is an NLP Practitioner. He began his practice of hypnosis & NLP in 1978. He offers an interactive <a href="http://www.neuro-vision.us/Products/NLP-Reframe-Emotional-Eating.html">NLP 6-Step Reframing CD</a> on his <a href="http://www.neuro-vision.us/">Neuro-VISION Hypnosis site</a>. Also available are his <a href="http://www.neuro-vision.us/Hypnosis-Article-Index.html">Free NLP article library, MP3 downloads, and NLP newsletters</a>.
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